Secular vs Spiritual: A battle already won ✝️
So I never thought I’d be writing about where my spiritual life meets my secular life, but being a young adult at the age of 23 in an ever-changing world makes this conversation inevitable.
It’s been a minute since I’ve caught up with y’all through this format and A LOT has happened in the last couple months. It’s a bit ironic that the last time I wrote was back in March with “Burning out to Rise Like a Phoenix 🐦” saying “KyuubiKaze’s back” 🤦🏽♂ ️then I put writing back on the virtual shelf lol.
BUT, here I am now, in the midst of the chaos that is fall semester final projects and essays (thank God btw that I don’t have any final exams 🙏😫).
Anyways, I think a few key-points to touch on today would be who I was, who I’ve become, and who I want to be in the next few seasons of my life. So let’s start from a couple years ago.
Before I continue, let me preface this entire article (and this chapter of my life lol) with Ephesians 1:7 : “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”. So if you’re super against topics like raves and depression, and don’t think that people can be forgiven and redeemed in Christ, maybe you should stop reading here 😅
Sooo, a couple years back, I was a lowly freshman in College. It was 2017, and I just finished taking a gap year, a break from school to just kick back and grind that YouTube game. A simple search of “KyuubiKaze” on Youtube would show that went a few places but not as far as I wanted BUT back to the story. I was in a relationship with a very interesting girl who I met at an anime convention. Let’s just say this relationship went sour a year later and I was left in an insaneee season. I hopped from part-time job to part-time job during this time, and a few of my old high school friends invited me to to a rave. I’ve always heard about raves and just assumed they were just EDM concerts, which in a sense, they are.
During this time, I’d occasionally come in and out of the young adults ministry as life got gradually more chaotic. I started to embrace this party lifestyle I never, everrr thought I’d be engulfed in. There were many things on my mind (and my heart) then, like “how do I leave this rave with a girlfriend?” or “will I ever not be lonely?”, and a lot more crazy thoughts fueled by a variety of things I shouldn’t have been taking part in.
Eventually, I got into another relationship after taking her to her first rave one night, which ended up at a beautiful lagoon in a starry night.
TLDR; this relationship also went sour as I was leaving to Japan for my first study abroad experience, which was around the time I was diagnosed with depression and starting taking medication and seeing a therapist (the latter of which I definitely encourage if you ever feel down, sad, or just need someone to talk to). Along with this, my heart started to break more knowing my best friend just passed away, and one of my grandmas was on her deathbed too. All this happening while I was in Japan.
Now jumping to a couple months ago, I was definitely in a new season. Like, I just moved into with some of my best friends (whom I consider family now, after 5 years lol), was about to start my last year in university, and had just enough room in my schedule to work part-time to make rent shmoney.
Now, any sane person woulda gotten a job as soon as they knew their schedule, but oh boy oh boy, did I not. Yet this was one of the best decisions I’ve made in recent memory.
One day in August, I heard a calling. I didn’t know what that calling was, but I knew I felt this nudge to do something about it. Was it to be a pastor in the future? Maybe. Was it to go to bible college? Possibly. All I knew was that I had to make a move, any move. So I did.
I got the opportunity to speak with my youth pastor and they mentioned the upcoming internship season at our church. With just the right amount of space in my schedule, I took that leap of faith, not knowing how I was going to pay for rent, or eat, or just survive. But let’s just say God is good (in fact, He is GREAT).
A short while after being accepted for the internship, I received a few scholarships and financial assistance from school. These coupled with a few savings and freelance jobs I’ve been doing literally saved my life as the rent I am now paying is the highest I’ve ever had to pay.
It’s now been about four months since the start of internship, and though I’ve made a few hard decisions like dropping one of my five classes, to giving up friend and family time, I can confidently say I’ve grown closer to God and my calling the last few months, than any season in my life.
So what does the near future hold for this former AniTube obsessed creator? Honestly, the only person I can think of that knows that is up in the Sky. All I can do is be faithful, steadfast, and prepared for the opportunities He’ll put my way.
Thank y’all for reading, and oh yeah, welcome to the start of the Weaboo Christian 😉
